A Dozen for You

Dear Littlest Son,

A Dozen, 12 years.  Happy 12th Birthday to you Karter!  

I’m going to dive right in.  Momma misses you so much.  Life has been extremely trying these last 7-10 months.  You know, you see it all.  There’s been many nights I swear I hear your voice but it’s always just a dream, unfortunately.  A lovely dream it it can be, though, my Son.  Momma has a few battles going on that aren’t the best but such is life.  All I can do is take things one day at a time.  Just know that each and every one of those days I love you so very much!  Happy birthday littlest Son.  

Dad is working hard as usual.  Only a few more years.  He’s doing great and striving for perfection in his career.  He loves and does his best to care for your Brothers and I.  He loves you lots.  Happy Birthday Son! 

Your Brothers as you know are young men basically.  Oldest Brother is off to college in a couple months.  You watch over Him, make sure he does great things as we think he will.  Middle Brother is so tall, I think he surpassed me.  You should give him dreams on how to become a basketball star.  He’s smart as a whip.  Just like Oldest Brother and I’m positive you are.  They love you.  I know they are so very curious, especially Middle Brother.   I answer all I can.  They love you lots.  Happy Birthday to you Karter!

All those candles you boys have on birthday cakes, wowie!  At least we’d get to start on your day and in 6 days Oldest Brother and 10 days after Middle Brother.  We’d throw the best of parties if you were here just one more time.  Happy 12th Birthday Karter!  

This year has been eventful I’ll say as much.  We are trying very patiently to sell our Kansas home as Dad’s work changed.  We all hated to say goodbye but it’s hopefully going to a wonderful set of folks who can fill it with as much love as we did.  Oldest Brother graduated from High School 6 months early, with honors.  He also got his first job.  Exciting times for Him.  Grandma and Grandpa H.  helped Momma drive to California, was a good thing to see the west. California, not our favorite.  I know you’ve seen and heard Momma’s language trying to drive on the ...well, anywhere.  We will get to the coast sooner than later I promise. Happy 12th Birthday Karter.  I love you.  We love you.

As you’re aware Grandma Lisa doesn’t have to read these letters anymore.  She gets to spend the day with you feeding you cake and ice cream.  I’m sure you are most spoiled Grandson in the Universe, possibly.  I’m glad you have her.  Tell her we send our love, that we miss her. I’m sure she’s excited to spend another birthday with you.  One here, one there.  We love you! Happy birthday son.

Karter, it’s once again that point where the tears I’ve held back are going to rain.  Oldest Brother and I have a flight this morning so we can get back to Dad and Middle Brother.  You’re always with me, you give me strength in the darkest moments, I love you baby boy.  I do wish you were here to celebrate your day with but once in a lifetime on your actual birth day will have to work. Happy Birthday Karter!  A thousand hugs for you! I love you, We love you.

Until next year, I’ll be listening for your voice in my dreams. 

Love Always,

Momma

The Precious

Meanwhile in Kansas...

It was this past Christmas and Smart Husband really, really wanted to buy me a new, shinier, bigger rocked, wedding set.  I had been hearing before this though that this is what I deserved.  I just am a Momma and Wife, always putting the Hubs and Sons ahead of myself.  Days, weeks, months crept by with a wisp of winter and hope of spring.  Then I relented.

OG engagement ring in box.

Backstory, it was hot summer back in whatever year it was we first crept onto the scene as a pair.  He was leaving for Iraq, I was not.  We were dirt poor, love rich.  We both had emerald Ford Escorts with the combined mileage of roughly one million miles.  Basically the engagement ring was worth a whopping 25 to 30 cents total, love rich.  I think that it was entirely assembled from found bits on the ground and a grocery store vending machine.  It's priceless now.  It's traveled a few of those million miles and still resides with us at our home.

The wedding ring, circa 2004,  my husband let me pick out was so beautiful to me.  White gold and princess cuts.   Later that year he picked the wedding band to go with.  Perfectly mismatched.  I loved it but he always wanted a bigger stone for me.  Fast forward to him seeing a few PFC's wives with mortgages on their finger and still telling me that I deserved a bigger ring.

The ring my husband initially showed me was at a big box type jewelry store at a hefty price of $7000.  SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.  Ah, no Momma's got groceries to buy, a house to keep up, two boys who eat and grow and need things like you know dental visits... the ring idea was just too self centered for me.  However, we discussed the possibility of a custom ring and it being a possibility IF a good price was attainable.

Being from a former small business owner's family, have friends with their own business, and my small time small dollar producing furniture restoration business I know the value of the dollar.  I wanted to use a small business, local if possible.  I knew I didn't want the status quo or a safe, normal ring created.  A google search and a few positive reviews later I arrived at Vernon's Custom Jewelry, LLC in Junction City, Kansas.

First sketch.

From moment one I was treated with respect and was given a variety of options.  Of course, me and my complicated self couldn't find anything in their store to buy.  When I mentioned the possibility of a custom piece the Store Owner Chris, sat down with me and discussed options.  He drew a sketch of something he thought I may like based upon what I'd told him I thought I wanted.  I was there maybe and hour and left with a sketch to take home to Smart Husband.

Smart Husband and I mulled over the options.  Thought a bit and he countered with a drawing of his own. Masterfully creating a ring of the stones we had bought, been gifted, and inherited.  Stones hundreds of thousands of years old and from half way across the globe. Love rich.  This was what we took back to the Jeweler.

Blueprint by Smart Husband!

From the Smart Husband sketch the Jeweler sent measurements of all of the stones, this approximate sketch, and all other technical specs off to a CAD company.  This took a large chunk of time but it was worth it when we saw the CAD model.  Super unique, again love rich.  We gave the "ok" to go ahead with casting the ring!

CAD work of up the Precious.

Once the ring was cast the rest was history.  Ok, not exactly that quick.  Chris, the Jeweler, had never seen a "princess cut halo" let alone ever assembled one.  Have we seen this type of halo since?  Nope, but we're willing to start the trend!  After hard work and dedication the Jeweler worked his magic and master his craft.  The precious was done.

Sides are set.  So close!

Love rich, Smart Husband and I ran uptown to see the amalgamation of not only metal and precious stones but love and time.  Stones from Grandparents, Parents, In-laws, my Husband.  Love rich, the Precious was done and it is BEAUTIFUL!  We cannot say thank you and give high enough praise to the Jeweler.

Too Smart has her ring!

If you happen to be love rich, time rich, thought rich, and would like to dream up your own custom piece, do so.  The sky is the limit especially with the best Jeweler in the land!  Fly in, road trip, send your items, whatever the case please consider Vernon's Custom Jewelry, LLC in Junction City Kansas to make your vision a reality.  If it's not custom then they have lots of awesome items that may be what you need.

Vernon's Custom Jewelry, LLC
716 N. Washington St.
Junction City, KS  66441
(785) 223-5999

Vernon's Custom Jewelry Website
Vernon's Custom Jewelry Facebook Page

Vernon's Custom Jewelry Twitter

Close up of the Precious. Thank you!

--Thank you to my Husband, my Parents, Grandparents, In Laws, and to the Jeweler.  With out you, your love, your contributions this would still be a dream.  

Lucky 7

Dear Sweet Karter,

Again I write as I promised I always would once yearly upon your day of entry to life and exit to the unknown.

As you can tell, we are in homeless once again.  Seems our tri-yearly, mandatory move always falls upon Your birthday or your Brothers' birthdays.  That's ok, Dad and I are trained professionals in the way of preparing for birthdays on the fly, Army moves, and other such fly by night/by the seat of your pants occasions.  We have landed gracefully upon Kansas soil.  Our temporary home (as you can see) is a historic flat, this building was the 1st EVER Fort Riley Post Exchange.  Many have passed through these doors, the old souls here have probably cried a few tears here as well not unlike your emotional Momma.

My lucky number has always been 7.  Dad and I were married on the 7th.  Kalvin was born in the 7th month.  Our last two address' have had two 7's in them.  Along with other random tid bits of 7 throughout my life.

Today is your 7th birthday, Happy Birthday Littlest Son!

Momma hopes beyond hope that this year, your 7th year, will bring us good fortune, good health, and good times.  I need you now more than ever, Karter.  I need you to give me that strength you blessed me with.  I need that strength to get through the gauntlet of health issues without giving up.  I love you Littlest Son but I don't want to leave behind Dad and your big brothers anytime soon.  As much as I'd like to be reunited with you, I'm very much so needed here.  Please return the strength you've given me to fight for my rights as a patient, as a woman, and as chronically ill person.  Thank you, Littlest Son.

Happy 7th Birthday, Karter!  We love you.

Dad is still doing a great job in the Army.  I may be a bit biased but that's because I love him.  His job has brought us here to Kansas, where we hope to settle for more than 3 years.  Your Brothers are well, happy, and tall as weeds.  I know you are with them always, helping protect them from the harsh ways of Earth.  I know you are with them when they build hide outs in the woods, when they throw every single Lego on the floor to sort through them to build the next holy grail, and when they sleep at night and have those not so nice dreams.   Thank you for keeping watch over Dad and Brothers.

Your 7th year, 7 years with you in our hearts.  We love and miss you.

This year has brought us loss and grief.  I take comfort in knowing you are there to usher in our family members to the afterlife.  I'm glad you finally get to meet them.  If you could, please relay these messages to them.  To Aunt Cindy, thank you for being a amazing role model as a strong woman, for showing me creativity is beautiful, and I love you.  To Grandma Lola, thank you for always being a ray of sunshine and full of love, every time I see a butterfly or cardinal I think of you.  Thank you and I love you.  To Grandpa Gradolph, thank you for spoiling me rotten in my early years, for taking me on my first plane ride, and for affording me the privilege of living in the Bahamas, I love you.  I learned a valuable lesson this year which was to always tell those you love how much they mean to you.  We never know when the last time will actually be the last.

I love you, Karter.  Happy Birthday.

With tears a streaming down my face, it's time to bid you adieu once again.  It's not really good bye but a pause until I think of you again.  Thank you Karter for gracing us with your short life.  Thank you Karter for giving me strength that I often forget I have.  Thank you Karter for giving me hope beyond what I can see.  Thank you Karter for being our Son, our Brother, our Grandson, our Nephew, our Cousin.  Thank you.  We love you and we miss you dearly.  I love you and miss you dearly.  I love you.  Until the 8th...

Love Always,
Momma

Momma's Day

I am a Mother and Stepmother. I have known and continue to meet some priceless women who just so happen to be mothers as well.  With our aprons off and the children of the house doing everything* for us today you should definitely have time for this read.  * By everything I mean not waking you up before dawn, tidying up the house, cooking for you, taking care of themselves, and so on.  *chuckles*

The life I’ve led has never been simple.  I’ve always had parents (shock and awe,) step parents, grand parents, step grandparents, etc.  This was and continues to be my normal way of life, as I’m sure it is for many of us.  I just want to say that without ALL of my family, I wouldn’t be who I am today.  Thank you for taking me in as your own, thank you to my parents for blessing me with this life, and Mom thanks for all that pushing you did I know how much that hurt.

The husband and I have had the pleasure of loving and caring for three special boys. On a daily basis, I am called “Mom, Mommy, Mom, April, Mom, MOM, APRIL”  about 357 times.  Do I answer every time?  Yes, most likely.  Do I want to ignore them sometimes?  Absolutely!  I’m always there to negotiate treaties between the brothers, care for their wounds, administer medications, drive them to school or practice, and read bedtime stories.  I am their Mother/Stepmother whether they like it or not.  BAHAHA, the joke is on you, kids.  All fun aside I’m blessed to have them in my life.  

My stepson is the eldest, at a ripe ol’ age of 11 and nearing teenagerdom faster than we’d like.  It really does seem like yesterday I met him for the first time and we were playing with his Buzz, Woody, and Jessie dolls.  Then came the Power Rangers, video games, and Legos.  I’ve shared my love of Star Wars with him and even at his worst he’s a spectacular son.  I have to say thank you to his Mother for having such a wonderful son and sharing him.  I know the future holds great things for him.  

Our son, age 5 going on 32, is a complex little human being.  I often wonder if the stars aligned just right to bring him into the world.  He’s a strawberry blonde and believe me the ginger in him comes out quite frequently.  He’s wise beyond his years and sometimes says things that I would never dream a 5 year old would say.  He has amazed me since birth.  I love him even when he’s acting like a fool.  I’m sure that the future holds great things for him, as well. 

Karter is our angel in heaven.  He is technically our youngest son.  He alone has taught me more lessons in life than one could imagine.  The good and the bad.  The happiness and the sorrow.  In utero we knew he had a problem that was not able to be corrected.  We had the pleasure of hearing his voice cry out, I can only imagine he was saying “PUT ME BACK IN, it’s freezing out here MOM, MOMMY, MOM...”  He passed away about 40 minutes after delivery.  He gave me a much greater strength than I ever thought I had.  He’ll always be in my heart.  I’m sure the future would have held great things for him as well. 

I don’t plan on having any more children.  These boys are enough.  I am proud to be their Mother.  I’m so glad they are a part of my life, where would I be without them?   

To all of you out there wishing your mom a Happy Mother’s Day, remember what you mean to her and what she means to you.  Women remember what your children are to you, they are your greatest and most precious gift.  If you don’t have kids, that’s fine.  Just give your Momma more hugs and thanks for what she’s been to you on this day.  

To my boys - thank you for being my son I will love you always and forever.  

To my Mother/Stepmom/Mother-in-law - Thanks for always being there for me through it all you are simply amazing.  I love you.  

To all the Moms reading this - enjoy your day!  

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