Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Helloooo, Anybody there?

Six weeks and counting since I've written anything on Ye Ol' Blog, embarrassing.  How dare I call myself an amateur writer and humorist?  Writer's block, I've had a severe case of it.

The Smart Boys started back to school.  They seem to be handling their new teachers and accepting new friends into their lives.  The thing I dislike most about them going to school is me having to haul their little butts to and from their school.  We live just outside of the district lines so we have to provide our own transportation.  Going to school isn't the issue.

The problem lies in the afternoon pick up which is an absolute cluster F of epic proportions.  School lets out at approximately 310pm.  If I want to get the Smart Boys picked up and home by DINNER TIME I have to get out to the school by 230pm, line up (as if a funeral procession,) and patiently wait.  I bring my water, protein bar, iPad, and phone to keep my busy and hydrated.  Some days aren't so bad but others feel like time will never move on.
Minus flashing lights and Hearse.

Seems Legit...
FINALLY, the wait is over and I see brake lights coming on in front of me.  These flashes of red light mean it's time for the procession of picking up our little angels.  Angels, this term is laughable when describing the Smart Boys but hey the other kids I'm sure are perfect.  Back to the scene...  One by one our vehicles inch ahead to pick up our kids one car load at a time.  I can't describe how they know which car belongs to which kid because if I did I'd be violating security protocol.  I want NO petterass picking up my kids in a scary van.

Smart Boys enter the vehicle, usually as slow as possible.  The door slams and we're off.  Another school day complete!  BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!!  I still have to navigate my way out of the parking lot.  This involves a bit of hell/toe action, evasive maneuvering, and sometimes standing on brakes.  I'm not entirely sure where these parents got their driver's licenses but I'm quite sure it was a Cracker Jack box.  We have to make the mad dash home, 7 miles of pure adrenaline.  What adrenaline rush doesn't include being tailgated by the Cracker Jack parade?

Enter the house.  As I rush to the latrine the boys are busy depositing their backpacks, papers, jackets, and shoes where ever they'd like usually in a direct path of walking.  Homework, check homework, start dinner, eat dinner, do dishes, and so on.  /End Scene.

Moral of the story?  Thank your damn bus driver!  Those of you who are fortunate enough to have bus services, ENJOY IT!  That and I'll be applying for a chauffeur license.  Doesn't it suck that I can't put this driving service on a resume detailing my safe driving skills all while volunteering?!  Ah the endless joys of Motherhood.  =)