Lessons in Urine

No one ever told me being a mother of a boy would be so comedic.  With the husband deployed or working long hours I've taught him some of the "boy things" as best as I've known how.  My son tends be to rather inquisitive and I'm the type of person to answer best as I can.

The day my son decided he wanted to pee standing up, a tale for the ages.  My husband was on a deployment.  I heard my son banging around in the bathroom so I decided I had better investigate.  The boy was positioning his potty stool just so that he could reach the toilet.  By the time I got into the bathroom there was pee all over the toilet, on the floor, toilet  seat down, and he was stepping down off of the potty stool.  I asked what he was doing he said "I finally peed like a big boy!"  After a chuckle and a grats I told him that next time it's better to lift the toilet seat up AND pee into the water.  After a few years of diligent practice he does manage to mostly pee into the toilet bowl but putting the seat up is still a challenge.  Can't blame him though, I just think it's in mans nature to leave a special treat for the lady of the house. 

This year was my son's first year at a school that had a urinal.  I think it was after the first week he finally broke out in laughter about using the urinal at school, commenting how cool it was to just pee in it.  Ahhh, boys.  Then came the day when I picked the boys up from school and he shared a story with us.  "Mom, I pooped at school today."  "Oh really, ok thanks for the info."   "Yea, I had to poop in the urinal."  

LAUGHTER, TEARS ROLLING DOWN FACE LAUGHTER!  

My stepson and I asked him almost in unison why in the heck he would poop in the urinal.  My son just said he wanted to and what was the big deal the stalls were taken?  My stepson and I then informed him that urinals were for going number one and not number two.  Fast forward to this past Monday when I picked the boys up.  My son casually says "Well, somebody pooped in the urinal and it wasn't me!"  Again, roaring laughter.  Priceless.

The last tale I'll share today is that of the bottle incident.  Men are born with the privilege of being able to use the bathroom "on the go."  Well once again it was just me and the boy out and about with no restroom in sight.  He of course had to pee, didn't have to before we left the house, but did at that time.  I told him to hold it until we got to a bathroom, he was ok for the time being.  By the time another ten minutes had passed I could see his little eyeballs floating as he professed his need for a restroom.  I made a snap decision and told him to pee into the empty bottle.  He giggled and questioned me.  The whole explanation was me mostly rambling and feeling like a deer in headlights.  He decided to go for it.  I turned up the radio and prayed for the best.  He managed to get most of the urine into the bottle.  The rest well, some ended up into his eye he said...again laughter.  

Being a mother to a boy presents challenges when the husband is away but we're getting through it one hilarious moment after the other.  I wonder if all Mom's go through this.

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